How it always starts

200911150112.jpg by bsabarnowl

As if they need help with this
[Via Pharyngula]

Clearly modeling his strategy after the anti-vaccination campaigns, Stephen explains how to cobble up your own homemade controversy on just about any subject. All you have to do is ignore all the evidence and invent a non-existent danger, and people will believe anything you say.


Not only has he exposed their schemes but he also knows how they make money at it. Controversy will always get them on TV. And if they are glib enough, they’ll get passed around.

Maybe I’ll do mine about radial tires. See, the circular tread means that when they blow out, the tire wraps itself around the wheel, causing you to lose control, both of steering and braking control and then die in a sheet of flame. But bias tires will blow themselves off of the wheel, allowing you to come to a easy stop.

Or maybe ball point pens. In order to get the ink to flow unnaturally around the ball, all sorts of weird chemicals must be added to the ink. Using a ball point over time will cause your hands to become contaminated by these compounds, and is responsible for the rise in the cancer rates over the last 100 years. In contrast, the india ink used in fountain pens is made from natural sources. It is much safer for us all to use fountain pens. The basic principle has for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Or rice. Rice is really bad for you because the kernels are so small. This means that they can get stuck in the pockets found in everyone’s throats, especially the ones near the vocal cords. Over time, these pockets could become overfilled and cause severe blockage, preventing you from getting food into your stomach and eventually starving to death. This is made even worse by the large number of tonsillectomies performed in the US. The tonsils exist to prevent the overfilling of the throat pockets

This could be a lot of fun!