Now here is a PR guy – no bus big enough

Here is the response of the new marketing guy hired to deal with the mess left by Paul Christoforo.

“I can’t worry about the fact that there isn’t a bus big enough for me to throw Paul Christoforo under” said,” Moisés Chiulian, the Austin, Texas-based consultant now retained by N-Control to oversee its sales and marketing. “The Internet did that for me. I think they set him on fire, too.”

In the long run, it may end up being a boon for the controller company. They are making the right moves.

Perhaps this will be the most prominent of a new type of marketing company – the suicide marketer. By destroying himself in a fit of douche-baggery, he gained more interest in the company than ever before.

Sacrificing himself for the good of publicity. None of that cold calling magazines. Just dump gasoline on himself and light the match. Like moths to the flame, he gets more publicity than ever.

After the immolation, he starts up another company to do the same thing. Rising from the ashes, he looks for another place to strike.

Make me wonder who Dave was in the original email thread. Could it have actually been … Paul? Could all of this be a cunning plan?

‘I wwebsite as on the internet’ – best email exchange of the year

Just Wow!
[Via Penny Arcade]

I got an incredible email today from a Penny Arcade reader. Dave shared with me an email chain between him and Ocean Marketing (the folks behind the Avenger controller) Trust me when I tell you that this is one wild ride. I’m serious, Mr. Toad would look at this ride and just give a slow clap while shaking his head. I have tried to arrange this as best I can in chronological order. I’ve also removed email addresses and other private information. So let’s just jump right in, here is Dave’s first mail to Ocean Marketing:

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Unbelievable. Read the whole string. Your mouth will drop. This can not be true. No one would be that stupid. But he is.

It is really testament to the old line about on the Internet no one can tell you are a dog, but they sure can tell when you are an asshole.

Watch the fun video some put together in a short time. It is hilarious.

And in true 21st Century fashion – where things change daily – Ocean Marketing is no longer handling the Avenger account.

I wonder how much longer he will be in business. SOmething strange here, I think.

And that he might have some other relationship with the company that makes the Avenger like part owner?

And this also brings out nut cases, who can easily find him and vent THEIR anger. 7000 emails in 24 hours; some not very nice.

And he seems to be deflecting much of his own behavior. Lots of ‘if I had know that guy was so important, I would have done things better’ sort of thing. So, its alright to treat peons with disrespect but not important people?

Yeah, its all other people’s fault. What a great marketing guy. I’d like to find out who his other customers are and make sure they know just how he is representing them.

One thing that is a benefit for him – he now has his own Wikipedia page, with links to all these things. Something nice to tell his kids about.

But pretending to be someone else when replying to emails about the debacle seems somewhat unethical.

The PR company that used to handle this account apparently fired the makers of the Avengers controller because of the behavior of this guy from Ocean Marketing, describing him as “a street thug masquerading as a  self proclaimed “Marketing Professional”.”

And his poorly written and edited email rants are now an Internet meme – I wwebsite as on the internet – is a classic. Even GEICO is using it.

From marketing kingpin to a butt of a gecko’s jokes. All in about 24 hours. Such is the speed of the world today.

Oh and he has another effort called Ocean Stratagy. Yes, that is the spelling. I think there will be someone on his butt about this for quite some time.

Interestingly, his Ocean Marketing site – which I do not want to give him any more  traffic for – has this quote from Allan Jenkins, “Your Brand is no stronger than your reputation and will increasingly depend on what comes up when you are Googled.”

Too bad he did not follow his own advice,

Making Christmas videos a lot more interesting

Action Movie FX app is the bomb, literally
[Via Edible Apple]

Action Movie FX is one of those iPhone apps that you need to stop reading about and, instead, start downloading immediately. The app, as the name implies, lets users apply Hollywood grade special effects to video that you record. And lest you think this app is some rinky dink effort from a third-rate development studio, note that it’s from Bad Robot Productions, a JJ Abrams venture that decided to get into the app making business. And in case you’re unfamiliar, Abrams is the brilliant mind behind Lost and the recent Star Trek remake.

Right now, the app is free to download and comes with two effects. The first is called Missile Attack and overlays video of an uber-realistic missile hitting a pre-determined target from your recorded video, complete with the subsequent explosion. The second is called Car Smash, an effect which puts in an out of control car flying through your video, enabling users to create a scene where they heroically duck out of the way just in time.

The above two effects are free but additional effects are available for purchase. These include Chopper Down, Tornado Action and Carpet Bomb.

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What a fun idea! Providing CGI special effects for the masses. I’ll be spending some time with this.

Who does Apple disrupt the most – cell carriers

Tablet Trend Helping Wi-Fi Instead of Cell Carriers
[Via Cult of Mac]

If you received an iPad for Christmas, there is a 95 percent chance you connected to a local Wi-Fi network to slurp up data, a new study predicts. Where does that leave cellular carriers? Out in the cold with their expensive data plans and 3G tablets, that’s where. The really bad news for folks like Sprint is the trend for 9.5 out of 10 tablets to exclusively use Wi-Fi doesn’t appear to be changing.

The bringer of bad news is Sandvine, a company that keeps track of how mobile devices are used. The problem with tablets is that they are not as mobile as carriers would prefer. Instead of taking them where the only Internet connection is cellular-based, many iPad owners simply jump on their home Wi-Fi network or the corner cafe’s hotspot. Like much in life the reason boils down to cost.

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The iPhone and iPad completely disrupted the carriers business plans. Not only with respect to cell calls and data plans but ringtones.

People buy an iPhone not what the carrier pushes. They can now send messages to each other via iMessage and talk with each other via FaceTime.

For aApple, wi-fi all the time is a goal, it seems. I wonder what they could be doing to completely cut out the carriers totally?

Here is the key paragraph:

So, let’s review: fewer people make phone calls, so carriers turn to data plans to recoup their losses. The Wi-Fi iPad is born and people attach themselves to Wi-Fi networks, giving 3G fees the big kiss-off. SMS is a lucrative way to squeeze cash from consumers sending billions of text messages each day. Apps like iMessage come along, allowing iPad owners to bypass texting fees. Where does that put carriers? You don’t need the Where’s My iPhone app to know your up a creek without a paddle.

We shall see.

I’m the luckiest guy in the world also

★ Merry
[Via Daring Fireball]

Late last night, inspecting Santa’s handiwork, a simple thought occurred to me. A decade or so from now, when, say, I’m waiting for my son to come home from college for his winter break, and, when he does, he wants to spend his time going out with his friends — how much will I be willing to pay then to be able to go back in time, for one day, to now, when he’s eight years old, he wants to go to movies and play games and build Lego kits with me, and he believes in magic?

How much then, for one day with what my family has right now? How much? Everything.

The truth is, I’m the luckiest person in the world today. I hope you are too.

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My son is home for his last Christmas as an Undergraduate, so who knows what Christmas will be like next year. On Friday, he saw I was kind of beat and asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him.We went to go see “HugO” and then stopped at the grocery store to get diner.

He may not believe in magic – although we got to see cinematic magic courtesy of Scorsese – it was a wonderful day.

I make it a point to remind myself that every day with my son is a lucky day – even the ones where we yell at one another ;-)

Respect better than childishness

‘Gamification’ Sucks
[Via Daring Fireball]

Brent Simmons:

I can’t prove that good software respects people, but I can look at good software and show how it respects people. I can look at bad software and show how it doesn’t respect people.

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Software is a tool. The initial tools were handcrafted masterpieces that could only be used by trained experts.

Today they can be used by anyone. Calling this process ;ramification’ and treating the users in an infantile manner simply misunderstands the process.

I’ll stick with companies that respect me.

Apple’s next new breakthough – for your wrist?

I Was Wrong about Apple’s iWatch
[Via Cult of Mac]

In September of 2010, I wrote a column in this space deflating the idea that Apple would ever make and sell a wristwatch.

I still think my reasoning was sound. But I didn’t know then what I know now. Specifically, two Apple technologies have become central to Apple’s long-term strategy. These two products — Siri and iCloud — change everything.

And because of these two products and how central they are to Apple’s longterm strategy, plus a few new things we’ve learned about Apple in the past year, I’m completely reversing my opinion. I now believe the current rumors that Apple is getting into the wristwatch business.

I even think we can accurately imagine what Apple is likely to do in the wristwatch department.

In my old post, I wrote that Apple is unique in the industry in that it has three criteria for entering an entirely new market:

1. There are glaring problems or inadequacies among all major players in the market that can be solved by Apple’s core competency of elegant design.

2. The new market area enables Apple to control a new platform that supports an ecosystem of content, such as media or apps.

3. Both the potential market and the marketplace for content must be huge, mainstream and central to how most people live.

I then went on to say that the iWatch idea fails all three criteria: 1) existing watches can be awesome and elegant; 2) wristwatch-specific apps would be too small a market for Apple to bother with; and 3) an iWatch could never find the massive penetration of the iPhone, or even the iPad, given that most people consider wristwatches a fashion accessor, which they tend not to buy from computer companies.

All this makes sense — if you think of an iWatch as a wristwatch and a stand-alone device. But that’s not what the iWatch will be.

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Think of it – a wrist-based system, using Siri, to control all sorts of devices – not just tell time. No need for a keyboard.

Then think about all the things you could do with a command module on your wrist. Say the right code – open a car door and start the engine.

Ask it to order a pizza for you. Download a movie to the TV. Answer your iPhone from across the room. Maybe even use RFID to act as a credit card – with the right security.

Let’s just se how big it is and what its battery life is like.

Have we reached the ‘let them eat cake’ stage?

A Christmas Message From America’s Rich
[Via Daring Fireball]

Matt Taibbi:

Nobody hates them for being successful. And not that this needs repeating, but nobody even minds that they are rich.

What makes people furious is that they have stopped being citizens.

Most of us 99-percenters couldn’t even let our dogs leave a dump on the sidewalk without feeling ashamed before our neighbors. It’s called having a conscience: even though there are plenty of things most of us could get away with doing, we just don’t do them, because, well, we live here. Most of us wouldn’t take a million dollars to swindle the local school system, or put our next door neighbors out on the street with a robosigned foreclosure, or steal the life’s savings of some old pensioner down the block by selling him a bunch of worthless securities.

It’s the cheating.

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The reason the ‘let them eat cake’ quote has stuck, even though there is no record of Marie Antoinette ever saying it,  is that it is so apropos of the French elite and their inability to connect to the troubled citizens around them.

Now we have financial CEOs calling people imbeciles and talking about how $20 million in INCOME is actually only $10 million after taxes!

Even the CEO of Google falls into this syndrome.

All it will take is another economic shock to the system and a lot of these words will come back to bite them, even the words they did not say.

Fun with magnets

Very cool science.

An interesting discussion of science and religion

argueby o5com

Can Science Explain Everything?
[Via AAAS News - RSS Feed]

AAAS DoSER Event Explores the Power—and Possible Limits—of the Scientific Method

In an event organized by the AAAS Dialogue on Science, Ethics, and Religion, speakers explored the value of the scientific method—and whether there are limits to its power.

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As with many articles, they bury the lede. Read to the end.

The religious side answers flatly “No!.”

The scientific side answers “We don’t know.”

So we have a very strong opinion against a somewhat weaker one. What happens when this occurs, even when the strong opinion is in the minority?

Turns out the research on this was just published. A minority with a strong opinion can overcome a majority with a weak one, overturning the views of the majority.

The only way for the majority view to prevail here  is if a large number of uninterested or ignorant members of the community exist. As this is not present when discussing science and religion, it seems unlikely that the views of science will ever overtake those of religion, even if science is the view of the majority.

Even if science is factually correct.

Fighting creationism may only succeed if we can actually create a large cohort who simply does not care, rather than trying to convince people of evolution’s truth. That seems to be the case in much of the rest of the world.

So this must be the new fight for science – create people who just do not care. That sure sounds exciting. /snark


Great Christmas story of returned pet

Lost VA dog turns up eight years later in CA, reunited with owners
[Via AMERICAblog: A great nation deserves the truth]

Absolutely wild story. Imagine finding your dog 8 years later. And they found her because the owners put a microchip under the dog’s coat. I did that with Sasha. It wasn’t that expensive, and obviously worth it (well, it did take 8 years for someone to get the dog and actually think of trying to the microchip, but still).

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While I do not always agree with Americablog, I do like it when they link to stories like this – an unbelievable story of a dog traveling completely across the country and coming back home after 8 years.

Found in the wilderness  of Northern California, Petunia was still an affectionate dog. Finally, after 8 years, the microchip that was imbedded in her was used to find the rightful owners.

Nice story to read at this time of year.

How about an 11th way Steve Jobs changed the world?

pixarby sjorsvb

10 ways Steve Jobs changed the world: There may never be another CEO like him
[Via MacDailyNews]

“There may never be another chief executive like him. Apple’s former CEO and co-founder transformed the world’s relationship with technology — forever,” Fortune reports.

 

“This year one of the world’s most important and transformative business and technology leaders passed away. Steve Jobs, the legendary and mercurial co-founder of Apple, died Wednesday, Oct. 5 at age 56,” Fortune reports. “In this story, Fortune looks back at how he changed the way we think about and use technology forever, putting his own stamp on everything from the personal computer to the music industry.”

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The 10 things are pretty easy and obvious – music, personal computers, etc. – but what about Pixar and entertainment? Surely Jobs had some involvement in the creation of a new art form, one that only his organization has been totally successful at. Over $7 billion in revenue from just  12 movies is not something to ignore.


The reason aliens are few and far between

galaxyby cosmobc

Why We Haven’t Met Any Aliens | Seed Magazine
[Via danielmiessler.com]

I suggest a different, even darker solution to the Paradox. Basically, I think the aliens don’t blow themselves up; they just get addicted to computer games. They forget to send radio signals or colonize space because they’re too busy with runaway consumerism and virtual-reality narcissism. They don’t need Sentinels to enslave them in a Matrix; they do it to themselves, just as we are doing today. Once they turn inwards to chase their shiny pennies of pleasure, they lose the cosmic plot. They become like a self-stimulating rat, pressing a bar to deliver electricity to its brain’s ventral tegmental area, which stimulates its nucleus accumbens to release dopamine, which feels…ever so good.

The fundamental problem is that an evolved mind must pay attention to indirect cues of biological fitness, rather than tracking fitness itself. This was a key insight of evolutionary psychology in the early 1990s; although evolution favors brains that tend to maximize fitness (as measured by numbers of great-grandkids), no brain has capacity enough to do so under every possible circumstance. Evolution simply could never have anticipated the novel environments, such as modern society, that our social primate would come to inhabit. That would be a computationally intractable problem, even for the new IBM Blue Gene/L supercomputer that runs 280 trillion operations per second. Even long-term weather prediction is easy when compared to fitness prediction. As a result, brains must evolve short-cuts: fitness-promoting tricks, cons, recipes and heuristics that work, on average, under ancestrally normal conditions.

The result is that we don’t seek reproductive success directly; we seek tasty foods that have tended to promote survival, and luscious mates who have tended to produce bright, healthy babies. The modern result? Fast food and pornography. Technology is fairly good at controlling external reality to promote real biological fitness, but it’s even better at delivering fake fitness—subjective cues of survival and reproduction without the real-world effects. Having real friends is so much more effort than watching Friends. Actually colonizing the galaxy would be so much harder than pretending to have done it when filming Star Wars or Serenity. The business of humanity has become entertainment, and entertainment is the business of feeding fake fitness cues to our brains.

Sobering.

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I disagree with the thought that technology will prevent us from galactic travel. In fact, I think it is the only hope we have to accomplish that.

I used to think that overcoming the nuclear threat was the biggest hump for technical civilizations. In fact, many science fiction works depict this as the reason more civilizations are not found in the galaxy.

Many simply blew themselves up.

I no longer think that is true. I think the hurdle is actually one that is seen for every other life form on Earth and presumably the Universe – sustainability.

Every organism on Earth expands until resources limit that expansion, then they collapse and find a point of equilibrium where their numbers are supported by the ecological resources.

We are entering that phase with mankind. Virtually all of our problems stem from increasingly unsustainable economies and ecologies.

Civilizations that are unable to deal with that, ones that eventually crash due to limited resources, never make it. We are on that path.

Our economies are built to increase exponentially. But access to resources does not increase better than linearly. This is the principle Malthus identified.

The Industrial and Green Revolutions prevented earlier Malthusian catastrophies. Now we are on the brink of another one.

And this is the big one, the one that probably prevents other civilizations in the Universe from progressing.

Without a change, we will collapse. So, we either alter the economies, making them more sustainable and not so exponential or we find new resources to use.

Those resources are found in space. Recent research indicates that possible hydrocarbon fuel can be found on Pluto. What would have to happen for that to be economically useful?

To continue forward, we also need to deal with the increasing presence of our own waste products, ones that are also harming ourselves. Sustainability is not just finding new resources but also making the best ecology for us to survive in.

So, the big hump for galactic civilizations is finding the resources they need to continue while also dealing with the increasing waste products from those resources.

Without finding adequate solutions to both, the civilizations simply collapse. If we collapse now, we will probably never get back to this stage because we will have used up and dispersed all the resources needed to get to this stage.

The next 50-100 years will determine if mankind makes the leap to a galactic civilization or remains a shattered husk of its former self. The fact that we do not see many examples of alien cultures means, to my mind, that this last hump is try difficult to hurdle.

Given our current imbroglio I have little hope for success.

“Not only is it not done right, but even if it was done right it would be the wrong thing to do”

ben franklinby perpetualplum

Walk through an airport with Bruce Schneier
[Via Boing Boing]

Vanity Fair’s Charles C. Mann walked through Reagan International Airport with Bruce Schneier, noting all the ways in which “security” adds expense and inconvenience without making us safer. By the end of the trip, he concluded:

To walk through an airport with Bruce Schneier is to see how much change a trillion dollars can wreak. So much inconvenience for so little benefit at such a staggering cost. And directed against a threat that, by any objective standard, is quite modest. Since 9/11, Islamic terrorists have killed just 17 people on American soil, all but four of them victims of an army major turned fanatic who shot fellow soldiers in a rampage at Fort Hood. (The other four were killed by lone-wolf assassins.) During that same period, 200 times as many Americans drowned in their bathtubs. Still more were killed by driving their cars into deer. The best memorial to the victims of 9/11, in Schneier’s view, would be to forget most of the “lessons” of 9/11. “It’s infuriating,” he said, waving my fraudulent boarding pass to indicate the mass of waiting passengers, the humming X-ray machines, the piles of unloaded computers and cell phones on the conveyor belts, the uniformed T.S.A. officers instructing people to remove their shoes and take loose change from their pockets. “We’re spending billions upon billions of dollars doing this—and it is almost entirely pointless. Not only is it not done right, but even if it was done right it would be the wrong thing to do.”

Smoke Screening

(via Kottke)

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A nice dissection of how we have become an increasingly militarized country, willing to give up civil liberties for a semblance of security – even if that security is paper thin or ineffectual.

We have become the country Ben Franklin warned about. They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

We gave up essential liberties and are well on the way to losing all of them.

I see no political leaders of either party swimming against the current tide of fear and do not expect things to change for quite some time, if ever.

My only solace is that we had a similar period of outright rejection of essential liberties following WWI, with both Democrats and Republicans coming together to pass various sedition acts.

They seem to be collaborating again. It sure would be nice to have some patriots like the Founding Fathers who treasured the Constitution over their own aggrandizement. Our current government is a bunch of ants clambering over the deep footprints of our predecessors.

I do not feel this will end well.

Tablets about a year old won’t be upgraded to new OS

NewImageby 3 Sverige

Samsung can’t cram both TouchWiz and Android 4 onto Galaxy S, Tab
[Via Ars Technica]

The original Samsung Galaxy Tab and Galaxy S will not be updated to Android 4 because Samsung’s TouchWiz interface takes up too much space, the company announced Friday. Samsung calls the choice between TouchWiz and Android 4 “inevitable,” but insists to customers that keeping TouchWiz over Android 4 will provide the better user experience.

Samsung announced Wednesday that several of its recently released products would be upgraded to Android 4 by March 2012, including the Galaxy S II and the Galaxy Note. The company followed up by saying that the Galaxy S, released in June 2010, and the Galaxy Tab, released October 2010, will not be able to take the upgrade, despite being fairly recent releases. Why? The devices’ ROMs are too small to hold both Samsung’s TouchWiz interface, Widgets, video-calling application, and Android 4 at the same time.

What did you really expect Samsung to do—let you install a new operating system in place of that UI overlay you never asked for? Despite Samsung saying it has your best interests in mind, we expect to see a few users do their best to dump TouchWiz in favor of an Android 4 install, however frowned upon that may be.

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My iPad is older than that and it still runs the latest iOS. I expect it to be doomed sometime soon but you never know with Apple. It still sells the iPhone 3GS which is two iterations back or about 3 years.

But in the Android world, you only pretty much are sure of getting the current generation of OS. There are still a lot of problems with upgrading to the next generation, as we see here. These devices are still within their 2 year contract with any phone company.

Interesting since Android 4 is the first real touch-based OS yet these touch devices will not be running it.

Apple has an incentive to get people to upgrade as it drives app sales, amongst other things. WHat incentive is there in the Android ecosystem?


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